In February 2024, I began my journey to reclaim my life. This “first step" marks the start of many to come. Tomorrow offers another chance to make progress. Now, let’s return to the beginning of this chapter.
At several points in this timeline, there were huge clues that my life as a hospitality professional was coming to close. But denial is a beee-ach. Self-reflection is even harder.
2015: I moved back to CA to pursue my dreams! I secured a job at a hotel in CA while still working in AZ. I was a to get back here. I just knew that this was what I wanted. I needed to be back in AZ, because AZ life wasn’t serving me any longer. The job and hotel I worked at in AZ was terrific, but I was unhappy. I put my house on the market and loaded up my Ford Fusion with all that I could carry along with 2 cats and 2 dogs. I was going to do big things! Take wine country by storm! Get ready, ‘cause I’m here! Sadly, the pay & commissions were lackluster, the job wasn’t what was presented to me during the interview process, and I viewed the hotel as “run down”. Sometimes joking, this place needs to burn down and they need to start over. Call that foreshadowing. Oh, and my ego..
2016: Left the hotel job for a job as a sales executive for an event rental company. Loved the job! Then nearly everyone was laid off after a buyout to a competitor in July 2017. I was devastated. I had never been laid off. I took it very personally that they “hired” only 3 people out of the 8 sales staff and I wasn’t one of them. It was wonderful! It was great! How dare they! Yeah, only one of those people survived out of the three. So, I would have been laid off again.
2017: Looking for a job, but not finding much available at the time. Remember that hotel I worked for in 2015, it burnt down in the Tubbs Fire. If I had stayed, I would still be out of a job. But I still have my ego! (eye roll) Lots of chaos that year.
2018: Found a new job. Boy, was this one a doosey! Dysfunctional, gaslighting, and toxic. I chased the money and ignored the red flags. I settled, because of the money. I stood up for myself and my employees and was burned in the end. The hotel ended up being sold. I would have been laid off in the upcoming year anyway due to “the vid”.
2019: August. Left dysfunctional hotel for peace of mind. I had stood my ground but failed and left doubting my abilities and place in the hospitality industry. Welcome the Kincade fires. Oye! More chaos. I began DoorDashing and went back to my roots working as a server in a local restaurant. This is the time when I should have begun to do self-reflection, but I was still in the FAFO phase of my journey. My ego was in charge. I registered to take the Master Court of Sommeliers test so I could pursue my career in the wine industry.
2020: February. Hey!? Why am I so sick? I never get sick. What the hell???? Oh. So this time should have also been used for self-reflection. I studied for my wine test, did a lot of wine tasting, and began painting. Okay, now I am beginning to find my joy. I loved painting. I took a lot of online free classes. And drank more wine. In-person testing for my wine exam was canceled and they were trying to find a way for us to take our test online.
I began my "Covid Job". A friend offered me a chance to work in the wine industry, my long-time goal that made me move back to California. I dreamed of organizing amazing wine events and collaborating with top chefs, just like I did in Arizona. I knew it was an entry-level position, but I believed hard work would help me rise quickly. I was able to take and pass my wine exam online. Okay, now that I had this achievement under my belt, I was going to go places!! Nope. LOL
Four years later, I was still in the same role with added responsibilities. There were many long-term employees not leaving, so I had no opportunities to advance. Plus, I was doing DoorDash to make extra money. This wasn't my dream.
2023: I wanted more but was hesitant to leave my stable job because I enjoyed my coworkers and the convenience of working nearby or from home. However, I needed a higher salary. One day, a recruiter contacted me about a hotel job nearby, and I eagerly accepted the opportunity. I thought it would provide more pay and allow me to do what I loved without juggling two jobs. I overlooked the warning signs during the interview because I was focused on the money. Unfortunately, the new job didn’t fulfill me, and I started looking for something else.
I had four interviews with a winery and felt confident I was the top candidate. Before securing the job, I left the hotel position, which led to being unemployed. So, I turned back to DoorDashing. This experience sparked a lot of self-reflection, especially during long hours alone in my car with just my thoughts.
2024: Hey remember that wine job I had. Guess what? Due to the wine industry collapsing, my entire Division was dissolved. Haha! Yes, the Universe had other plans for me. If I had stayed and not taken the hotel job, I would not have been as far along in my enlightenment and possibly devastated yet again by another lay-off.
How many paths have I been on for the past 10 years just to get to this point? A lot. The Universe works on its schedule. I imagine my guardian angels smacking their foreheads and rolling their eyes for 10 earthly years as I was not receiving the hints that the hospitality chapter of my life was done.
We’ll get into letting go of your identity in the next BLOG. That one is a doosey!